Every day I am greeted with the same old annoyances and I am sure that many of those who read this will have experienced the same thing. There are many examples of this – be it the endless amount of time we simply spend waiting daily, be it in traffic or in line at dining facilities; the numerous responsibilities that we must balance – everything from going to class, doing your homework, going to work, pretending to care about what your girlfriend is saying, hanging out with your annoying friends, etcetera; and of course, the most terrible issue of them all, that of dealing with obnoxious people, a fact of life that is sadly all too prevalent.

SBU student tired of waiting for food at the SAC

Let us walk through the normal day of practically any Stony Brook resident student’s life, since I am most familiar with that. First there is sleep… unless you and your roommate have the same schedules and commitment to go to class, chances are that one of you will wake up several hours before the other, attempt to reduce the noise in getting ready (i.e. they will only slam the door twice, turn on the lights just for a few minutes to find their missing notebook, and maybe tap wildly at the computer in order to send that incredibly important away message.) Finally roused to sleep before you wished, you face the prospect of bathrooms in poor condition, with leaking roofs, paint chipping off the walls, and clogged drains that start a nice puddle within seconds of turning on the water. Finally you are ready for the world and then you go to your first class…

-You never see this at Stony Brook-

Your first class is probably some wickedly boring 80-minute “DEC” which sucks the life out of you with every minute that the rambling professor “lectures” the class. To add insult to injury, each class has, at the very least, one overly eager student who must interject at every available opportunity to ask the most incredibly foolish questions or utters the most retarded comment possible. After this dread, you go on to your other classes.

Of course, before you visit your next torture, you decide to eat substandard quality food at inflated prices, for which you must wait an inordinate amount of time. Lucky for you that you picked these criteria, for you can dine anywhere on campus (except at Jasmine, which is a singular bright spot on campus,) and get what you desire. While you are having your gruel, if you are lucky enough to find a table, you are visited by your “friends,” who regale you with the latest installment of their petty lives, including perhaps that ever-running story of your friend who complains to you for hours about how her boyfriend is a jerk to her, she hates his guts, yet cannot let go and cannot help but call him a few times, despite your advice otherwise.

I could go on and on, and while I might have sounded rather petty throughout, as life is never totally smooth and pleasant, I believe that it is unreasonable to go on with our existence constantly harassed and bothered with no relief or safety valve. For some of us it is music, for others it is venting with good friends, and yet more write articles for the Asian American E-Zine, but is all of that really enough? On some days I am sure that the reader has felt the need to scream in anger while pondering the stupidity of it all. Allow me then to give you some brief thoughts on how we can create a utopia with a minimum of effort and a maximum of gratification.

First, the most irksome question of all, what our calling or job in life should be, can be answered rather conveniently. All we have to do is devise an examination, to be taken in our childhood, a sort of IQ test, which correlates to a specific occupation. We are then bound to this occupation and all of our future education beyond the basics will be tailored to meeting this goal. Our educational system will be shorter, more efficient, and best prepared to deliver results, as it will have a specific goal in mind. People can be free to do something else or start their own businesses, if they see fit, but will first complete this requirement so that they will always have some job to fall back on.

-If you do not recognize this equation,
you must become a high school vice principal-

The next issue to deal with is economics and society. Beyond guaranteeing some basic essentials, such as adequate food, shelter, and health care (which sadly all too many do not get in present conditions,) people will be free to do what they wish, so long as it abides by a simplified set of laws, with the guiding principle that as long as no harm is done, either to yourself or to others, the action is legal. 

As for dispute resolution, people will have the normal legal recourse we get now, but for more commonplace problems, such as dealing with obnoxious people or those who insult us verbally, a more immediate approach should be advocated. Namely, a well-equipped boxing ring with safety equipment should be present in all locations, and people should have the right to challenge these offenders to a round of sparring for their actions. Finally, we have a way of dealing with the excess steam, in a relatively safe and animating manner, and in reality this situation would not be often encountered, as people in societies in which duels were allowed, for instance, on the average behaved much more civilly than those (such as ours) which do not have this option readily available.

-Everyone is content in Esamopia-

Even if you do not believe in my vision for Esamopia (for yes, that would have to be the name,) I hope that you at least agree that there is much that causes annoyance and irritation in our society and precious few ways to deal with it. Short of creating our own society, I encourage you to speak out, protest, and complain whenever there is cause for it. Do not let people in life push you about, challenge ideas and concepts that say you must do certain things, or do them a certain way, and above all, act to make a positive contribution to yourself and to those around you. Perhaps there is some hope yet.